Art" on Bravo. In a nutshell, it was an adventure to say the least....
"Work of Art: The Next Great Artist is an American reality competition show that airs on the cable television network Bravo, in which
up-and-coming artists compete for a solo exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum and a cash prize of $100,000. The show is produced by
Magical Elves Productions, the same company that created Project Runway and Top Chef. The series premiered on June 9, 2010."
Here's a link describing it in more detail.
Brooklyn Musuem from the front - looks kinda like a mini-Met.
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 25th, 2010Barely slept all night too muggy to be comfortable, too cool to turn the AC on....Woke up sometime after 6AM - those hours are nothing but a blur to me. Hence I avoid them AT ALL COSTS. But this was a mission. A mission of art...
Showered, dressed and ready to leave by 7:30 or so.... Ugh, why is so ugly out at this time? Loaded up the car and went back inside. You see, I was dressed business casual = a short sleeve shirt, nice pants, even nice shoes.
But I said to myself - "You're driving 2 hrs into BK, standing for X # of hours and then driving back.. PLUS it's gonna be in the 80s today...."
So I changed into my jean shorts, a sleeveless grey T and a short sleeve "old man" or as I like to call it "my Hemingway shirt"......I was dressed as me. Turns out I blended in better dressed that way anyway. So glad I changed at the last minute....
That delayed me a few minutes so I got under way and off to the races around 7:40 or so..... The Merritt was pretty quiet this time of the day. About 45 mins into the trip, stopped in Greenwich for a break. I knew that I'd be sitting for quite awhile longer. I still can't stand sitting down longer than an hour - the only exceptions being a long drive or the movie = both of which I do maybe twice a year.....
The weather couldn't be more perfect. The sun was shining over the trees by this point, and the sky was a soft pastel blue.
Now, let me interject this narrative by saying I've never driven to Brooklyn (BK) before. I do NOT own a GPS. And I was driving in the morning - the worst time of the day for me. But I did print out directions w/ some street maps. Again - good thing because the friggin directions almost got me lost!!!?
OK - back to the trip. The Hutch isn't bad. Kinda like the Merritt, but more spread out? I dunno.
Then off to 495. After a few miles of that, onto 278. So far so good. No traffic jams..
HA hahahaha!!! 278 BACKS UP!!! - traffic is crawling b/c of the switchovers & strange exits under bridges and whatnot. What kind of sick deranged twisted fool designed these roads? No sense at all.
But I had my game face on. I did more yelling and gesturing than the natives!!!
And I kept it on the DL - they prob thought I was yelling into the phone or something. So I get off 278 and go down this road and then down another road....
Well, I ain't where I'm supposed to be....but I'm close. I can feel it. So I consult the handy dandy map Iprinted out. Somehow I ended up a couple blocks away from a street that would take
me straight to the museum. Washington Ave. What a microsm of city strangeness. Decay and neglect interspersed with bustling thoroughfares and people. Did not know the Hassidic Jews - at least the ones I saw in Brooklyn today - the men wear fur hats. It was 90 degrees out!!
I digress. The musuem was right there in front of me!!
Somehow I found the parking lot in the back. Stretched my legs and walked a little bit.
Turns out the line was around the entire building!!!
Got in line about 9:45. Didn't get in to the interview until 3:15.
The last hour and a half in line was in the sun - next to the parking lot - with brick walls surrounding us. I thought my brain was frying.....
Here is a fruitcake that showed up.
We all thought he was a cupcake vendor.
Turns out he was a contestant arriving late....
Met some interesting people standing there in line:
*Weirdo family from NJ (imagine that!?!) - guy thought he was a real jokester b/c he was carrying all his wife's things around....
*Then there was the6ft 4 sculpture guy - wearing a bright green crossing guard vest. Reminded me a LOT of the Ice Road Trucker "Jack Jesse". But it wasn't him.
*And standing next to him was a 4ft 9 girl who looked all of 16 years old. Talk about a juxtapostion!?!? And to top it off she looked like a smaller version of someone I had a crush on 20 years ago....
*Right behind those folks, and in front of me was Alex a 28 year old Russian who was a dead ringer for Anthony Micheal Hall (see Dead Zone TV series). He was cool - I spent most of my time talking to him. Very interesting dude - even if he was from NJ (and a Rutgers grad to boot {for those not in the know - Rutgers is the NJ equivalent of UConn - and both are in the Big East, so we're rivals}).
*And standing behind me was some weird dude from Manhattan. Half PR half Polish. Dude was wacked to say the least....Stood next to him for 5.5 hrs and never did find out his name....!
*And standing behind him was the bike rider who looked like Julio Igelesias.....and next to him was some skinny (strung-out) 20 year old kid who kept strumming a ukulele. I was going to ask him if he knew the song "Hot Dogs for Hot Dog people", but thought the better of it.
So I finally make it to the "promised land" = inside the museum where there are water fountains and air conditioning. Coulda been the Taj Mahal for all I cared. It was nice.
Finally get up to the 3rd floor and there are 8-9 interview "judges". I get my 3 minutes with a Connecticut native.
First thing I noticed when I sat down was - she had a MOUSTACHE!!!! I'm talkin' 1/4 hairs on the upper lip here....and she had dark hair, so it was kinda pronounced....
I decided to be nice and NOT comment on it. Probably should have = I might have made it into the second round....
She did like my portfolio. Said it was organized and I had a nice range and definitely have my own style.....
Interview over.
Like a camel in the desert I drank heavily from the water fountain before going back out into the heat for the long drive home.
Drive home - got lost again. The street - Washington Ave that should have taken me right to 278 - was closed for construction!!!?!?!??! WTF?
Somehow driving thru some real shady lookin streets (glad it was daylight out) - I managed to get onto 278.
INSANITY:
The toll - 278 going INTO the city had cash on the 2 far left and 2 far right lanes.
The EZPass were the 3 in the middle. 278 going OUT OF the city - left 4 lanes are all EZPass and only 2 far right lanes were cash. So 200 feet from the toll I deftly manuvered across 3 speeding lanes of traffic to get into the left-hand cash lane. 4 NYers wouldn't let me in. Each one got an earful from me - my window down and me yelling racial and ethnic slurs as well as insulting their manners, intelligence and that they were ugly.
I thanked them all with the "Yankee Fan Club" sign = if you don't know what that is, it's when you
wave to someone with only one finger extended....see, now you've learned something new today......Geez.
Anyway, finally get thru that and somehow end up on the Hutch. Wasn't 100% sure if I was going the right way but the towns were going in the correct order they go in from the train - white pains, new rock-hell, mount vermin.
Once I saw the tree that looks like a giant dildo or toilet brush, I knew I was on the right road back. Anyone been on this highway knows what I am talking about. Must be a cell tower that the rich folk complained about, so they put some fake limbs on it - symmetrical no less and hence it looks like the description above. Had I not been so relieved to be heading in the right direction driving @ 76 mph, I might have taken a picture of the thing...
Stopped to pick up a pizza for dinner. Walked in the door just after 6:30 - eleven long hours after I left.
Call backs for inclusion into the second round taking place in BK the very next day. The cutoff for the call backs was 10pm.
10pm came and went = no call back for me.
Sad? Not really. It was an adventure!
Lessons learned:
*some interesting people
*stood out in the heat and sun for 5.5 hours
*drove into BK and found my destination
*got lost leaving, but again found my way - just kept heading north and east....lol
*this is key: got my portfolio together. a 'real' artist has to have an up-to-date portfolio put together. I've got to do several more actually - it's on my list of "to-do's".....
*and another thing - it kept me busy and kept my mind off of the fact that I just lost my job after 14 years......
onward & upward!!!
This is the line in the back of the building when I left.
There were easily 200+ people in back of me.
Close-up of the above picture. See the fruitcake with
the cupcake bicycle?...
